Free guide

How to spot a scam

A free 5-minute guide to how romance and online scams work and what to do, based on advice from the Federal Trade Commission. No email needed.

Scammers build a relationship first

Most people picture a scam as a bad email. The ones that hurt most look like love or friendship. It often starts with an unexpected message on social media, or on a dating or gaming site. Then comes intense attention and daily contact, often moved to WhatsApp, Google Chat or Telegram. Only then does money come up.

1They contact youA message out of nowhere, a dating match, or a friend request.

2They talk to you every dayLots of attention, often on a private app like WhatsApp or Telegram.

3They have an emergency or an opportunityThey can never meet. Then there is an emergency, a package held up, or an investment they want to teach you.

4Then they ask for moneyBy then it does not feel like a stranger asking. It feels like helping someone you love.

Common stories scammers tell

The FTC lists these among the most common lies in romance scams:

They are on a faraway military base, so they cannot meet.
They work on an offshore oil rig.
They are a successful crypto investor and will teach you.
They shipped you a valuable package, and you need to pay “customs”.
They are sick, hurt or in jail, and need money.

The four signs of any scam

1. They pretend to be someone you know or want to know

A love interest, a new friend, a company or a government agency.

2. There is a problem or a prize

An emergency, a held package, a great chance. Something you can fix with money.

3. They push you to act now

Honest people give you time to decide and to talk to others.

4. They tell you exactly how to pay

The FTC says only scammers tell you to pay by crypto, gift cards, wire transfers or payment apps.

How to protect yourself

• Never send money to an online love interest.

• Talk to friends or family about a new relationship, and take their concerns seriously.

• Do a reverse image search on their photos. If the details do not match, it is likely a scam.

• Be careful with unexpected messages and friend requests, and limit who can see your posts.

• Anyone pressuring you to invest, or asking for crypto, gift cards or a wire, is a scammer.

If it already happened

• Stop contact with the person, and stop paying.

• Report the account to the app or social media platform.

• Call the company you used to send money. Tell them it was fraud, and ask them to reverse it if they can.

• Report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov and ic3.gov. If someone is extorting you with private photos, report it to the FBI.

• Tell one person you trust.

If you feel ashamed

You may feel foolish, and you may be afraid of what people will think. You may also still miss them. All of that is normal. Being fooled is not a character flaw: you trusted someone, and they worked hard to earn it. Keeping it secret only helps them.

Watch out for a second scam

People who already lost money get targeted again. Someone says they can get it back if you pay first. The FTC says anyone asking for upfront fees or your financial details to do that is a scammer. Mathew never recovers funds, and will never ask you to pay for that.

How these scams work is based on the Federal Trade Commission: Romance scammers’ favorite lies exposed · Romance scammers love to take your money · Romance scams · Refund and recovery scams. We are not connected to the FTC.

Education only, not legal or financial advice.

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